I was reading a blog earlier and she was commenting on things that people have said to her, or things that she has heard them say about her and/or her children while they are out and about...which leads me to this post (she has quads, God bless her).
Now that the kids are a little older I have started to feel more comfortable taking the kids out by myself. I have taken them to the Westdale Mall, which is pretty much obsolete, and to Target all by myself. So far I have learned two things. I have learned that the only way to get anything accomplished is by taking the quad stroller, and by not making eye contact with anyone you come across. Taking the stroller is key because if they are buckled in they can't go anywhere and they won't think to fight about it. Now, by taking the quad stroller you really have to implement the second thing I've learned,
do not make eye contact. It seems as though by making eye contact with any random stranger you are inviting them to ask, or say, whatever on their mind.
Example:
It's 9:15am in the Target parking lot. I just dropped off Olivia at preschool and need to pick up some milk and things of that nature. So here I am loading my kids into the stroller when the women parked next to me comes up to her car and starts putting her groceries in the trunk. I've got the Hannah in Hayden in the stroller wearing lots of pink, and the lady says, "Looks like you've got your hands full." This is a very common statement and does not bother me at all, then she comes closer and says, "I bet you boys keep your mommy very busy." I ignore her since she must be color blind. Then I reach back into the Suburban to get Jonathan out and she says, "There is more!" I reply, "Yep, one more, and one at preschool." And then out of the mouth of this not so old old bag comes this, "Well, it looks like mommy needs to stop." As in stop having more kids! What?!! Then I calmly told the nice older lady that my husband and I were going to try having at least five or six more in hopes of getting our own reality show! Okay, so I didn't tell the old bag that but I reassured her that, "mommy" had stopped. Seriously people! I mean it's one thing to think it, but to say it out loud...keep it to yourself.
Other examples that are not so annoying but frequent:
"Are those all yours?"
"Oh, are you a daycare provider?"
"Are they all identical?" Note: A boy and a girl can not be identical. One is a boy, the other is a girl, that is called fraternal. If you've made this mistake (Cari) don't worry, I didn't really think about it before I had them either. :)
"Are they natural?" This doesn't bother so much because they are, but if they weren't I might be a little more sensitive to it. My thought is this, no matter how they came to be, they are a blessing and a miracle. So unless you are going through some trying times of your own and are curious in that way, you might want to forgo that question.
This one was from a man, "So what kind of combo do you have going on here? I can't figure it out."
Don't get me wrong. I don't always mind questions, especially if you, or someone you know, are going through something similar. But if you are a stranger standing next to me in the check out line at Target and ask me if I had them all vaginally the conversation is going to stop there.
This was a picture of my first trip with them all to Target. Another lesson learned that day. Make sure your 3 year old goes to the bathroom right before you leave. We didn't have any accidents but I was yelling instructions at her through a stroller wedged bathroom door! Oh and save the trip to the bakery counter for your free cookies until right before checkout. They can't yell if their mouths are full. That is probably the most important thing to remember.
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